


If you have ghosts

by GreenPhoenix



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Creepy, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 17:50:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1753477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenPhoenix/pseuds/GreenPhoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toby post season six is losing his grip on reality. His losses have brought him to this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you have ghosts

He’s sitting in front of the computer, typing something for Pete. The words start to blur together. What is it he’s writing and to who? And why? The air in here is thin, as if chemicals from what killed the Aryans and the innocent guards still lingers in the drainage. Maybe they’re all being poisoned slowly. As if it really matters now.  
“Miss me sweetpea?” asks a voice. It can’t be. But when he turns its Vern Schillingers ice-blue eyes and unflinching stare he meets. “Oh yeah” says Vern. “You and that cocksucker boyfriend of yours killed me. At least I’m with Hank and Andy now. You killed them too, prag”. Hank and Andy, bloody and terrified reach for him with ghostly hands and he screams.  
“Tobias?” It’s Pete’s voice. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost”. Jerked back to reality. Its okay he tells himself and reassures Pete before reassumes her dull words to someone. Is it a financial report of the costs of therapy? It seems so.

He sits, playing cards with Ryan and Rebadow. It’s okay he tells himself. They’re playing for matches. They can be swapped for tits. Ryan does great business that way and Toby needs the release. Rebadow doesn’t know, bless him. He still has a hotline to the almighty. Toby wishes he did too, that he could rest from what he’s done and whom he’s lost. “Toby?” He turns again and sees Genevieve in a wedding gown with maggots crawling in her eyes. “Toby? I lost my way; I’m in limbo because of my suicide. I can’t find Gary. Toby help me” she says and the worms in her eyes wiggle, her rotted flesh starts to peel. Toby blinks and he’s back playing cards. Gen wasn’t real, she’s not in limbo, she’s in heaven with Gary. He really should stop doing tits, but without his drug of choice, Keller he needs something to keep alive. For Holly and Harry’s sake.

He’s in the shower, water blasting. Next to him stands his new podmate, a silent young man who killed his sister who was his lover. The young man’s face is angelic, like Timmy Kirk’s with a mouth equally made for cocksucking. Toby tries not to steal a glance at his firm young body but its’ hard not to. The guy’s an insane killer, but when has that stopped him before? The love of his life was a serial killer with no sense of remorse, expect for deep in his soul. Way deep. “Toby” says a familiar voice in that bedroom whisper of his. No, no. Come on, not Chris too. But all of a sudden he’s not in Oz. He’s in a hotel with a big bed, Chris naked beside him sucking him off with his usual relish. “Chris” he breathes. “If you’re not real don’t tell me. I love you”. Chris doesn’t speak, just lets go of his cock, and pushes into him like so many times before. Chris rides him into a blinding nova of orgasm, hands on him, mouth on his neck. “I love you. I always will” he says. In a flash Toby is back in the shower. “Quit staring you freak” says his cellmate. “Sorry. I lost myself” says Toby. He is lost without Chris, Gen, Gary, his father, and all the others. Hell even his best friend in here, Said is lost. Said is with Allah and Gen is not a lost suicide wandering limbo in a dissolving wedding dress. Chris is not wandering in limbo though he’s also a suicide. Why does everyone he loves kill themselves? What did he do to them?

“Did you forget me, queer?” wonders Adam Guenzel. No, no. “You let Schillinger rape me, and kill me because you wanted to see your psycho boyfriend?” Adam is half-rotted and he has a smile like a slashed throat.  
“I’m sorry. You hated me” says Toby.  
“Yeah. Of course I did. You are weak. You are a loser”  
“Yes, yes”. He jerks awake. His new cellmate says. “Shut up. I was dreaming about Kara and you took our precious time together. “ Kara was his sister and he killed her for seeing a woman behind his back. “Sorry” says Toby and tries to will himself to sleep. How does the song go? If you have ghosts, you have everything. He really does. Never alone with all his dead ones around him. Never alone. “I love you Toby” breathes Chris against his ear. “You stole my life” says Kathy Rockwell. “Fuck you sweetpea” says Vern.  
“Go with Allah, brother” says Said. “Daddy, daddy” cries Gary. 

They find him hanged that morning. He did it with his bedsheets. His cellmate grins. Now he’s alone with Kara at last. Sister Pete cries and arranges a wake. His family already lost him so many years ago. He had ghosts. He had everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Inspired by Roky Erickson’s “If you have ghosts”.  
> Lyrics: If you have ghosts then you have everything  
> If you have ghosts then you have everything  
> You can say anything you want  
> And you can do anything you want to do  
> If you have ghosts then you have everything
> 
> Wine never does that  
> Wine never does that  
> You can call it surprise, there it is  
> And a part of it is me  
> Wine never does that
> 
> In the night I am real  
> In the night I am real  
> The moon to the left is a part of my thoughts  
> And a part of me is me  
> Forever is the wind  
> In the night I am real
> 
> I don't want my fangs too long  
> I don't want my fangs too long  
> The moon to the left is a part of my thoughts  
> And a part of me is me  
> Forever is the wind  
> I don't want my fangs too long
> 
> If you have ghosts then you have everything  
> If you have ghosts then you have everything  
> If you have ghosts then you have everything  
> If you have ghosts then you have everything
> 
> Written for the Oz-Prompt-a-thon 2014.


End file.
